I do NOT like to admit this, because it makes me sound totally junior high, but I recently saw a Facebook status from an old friend that crushed me. It had this sort of veiled meaning, and it was cryptic enough to make me think that her words were an attack on me. I don’t even KNOW for sure that her words were directed at me. It just FELT like it.
Do you know the feeling? It happens when a person totally gets up inside your head, and you can’t tell the difference between a real slam and an imagined one.
Because the truth is, this woman had rejected me years before; she really HAD said hurtful things to me, and had said even more hurtful things about me to others.
And so, that night when I was on Facebook, reading her status, I felt so vulnerable, and so crushed.
I HATE that feeling. How about you? I don’t think I’m the only one.
So many women I know are feeling rejected, less than, left out, and lonely. So many women feel flat-out rejected.
Because I score highly as a Relater on the Happiness Style Assessment, feelings of rejection cut especially deep. Relaters are the inviters, the soul connectors, and the ones who make room at the table. The life motto for Relaters is this: Together is what makes us strong when life makes us scared. Relaters know the value of friendship and fiercely protect the people they love. (pg. 91, The Happiness Dare)
So when we read a Facebook status that feels like an attack, we feel especially vulnerable and rejected.
(Take the happiness style test by clicking here, and discover whether you’re a Relater, or one of the other four Happiness Styles.)
So, then the other day as I was still nursing my own rejection, I began reading my friend Lysa TerKeurst‘s new book, Uninvited. She sent it last week, but because I was busy launching my own book, I hadn’t had a chance to open hers yet. Boy, did it come at the right time! It helped me see things so clearly, in light of God’s truth.
“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me,” Lysa writes.
Reading her words, I realized how the deep hurts of my past have stolen joy from my present.
Maybe you’re like me, feeling the sting of old rejections. Maybe it’s the sting of NEW rejections. Worst of all, Lysa says, we catch ourselves wondering if God secretly agrees with those who hurt us.
I want to encourage you today if you’re feeling rejected. God has a place for you at the table. You are invited. You are “in.” You are known and loved, even when it feels like you’ve been left out. Even when the ugly words come. Even when the Facebook status brings up all sorts of bad feelings.
If you’re feeling rejected, today’s the day to believe a new story: Even if you’ve been rejected by others, you are handpicked by God.
A PRAYER FOR YOU
Dear Jesus, I pray for anyone who is feeling left out, alone, rejected, and lonely. Thank you for being the Friend who will never leave us, the Friend who will never abandon us. Nothing can separate us for Your love and friendship — not even death. In Your name we pray, Amen.
What is your happiness style? Whether or not you score highly as a Relater, God has wired each of us to experience the blessing of community. What relationships in your life have brought you the most happiness–in the past and now? Are you going through a period of loneliness today?
I highly recommend Lysa TerKeurst’s new book Uninvited.
Right now, Amazon is telling us that The Happiness Dare and Uninvited are frequently bought together, along with Shauna Niequist’s Present over Perfect, which I’ve heard great things about but haven’t read.
(this post contains affiliate links)
A quick thanks to Lysa, for her support of The Happiness Dare.