why we don’t ask for prayer, even when we should – #TellHisStory

March 15, 2016 | 139 comments

I was sitting at the back of our country church, near the computer where you’ll find me many Sunday mornings. I had been assigned the duty of worship leader, aka Deejay J.D. Lee, so I was picking songs from our iTunes library.

That morning, I needed more than a few good songs to play. I needed prayer. I needed my church family to pray for me because I was scheduled for an MRI the following Wednesday. I had been to the doctor a few days earlier. He said my symptoms were a bit suspicious — not terribly alarming but worth checking out. So the doctor ordered an MRI.

Sunday came. When the pastor asked for prayer requests, I fidgeted at the back of the church, but stayed quiet as a church mouse. I fiddled with a Power Point. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my husband looking over his shoulder at me, as if to say, “If you don’t ask for prayer, I’m going to.”

I shook my head, “no.” And I gave him THAT look, the look that says “I mean it,” without saying a single word.

A few other folks had already asked for prayer: for an upcoming surgery, for a family who had lost a loved one, for an unwanted diagnosis.

I sat wordless, letting my unspoken prayer request hang in the air.

I left church that morning without the prayers of my church family. I went into the MRI tube the next Wednesday. Without the prayers of my church family.

Not cool.

Here’s why I didn’t ask for prayer that day:

Compared to the problems of everyone else in the room, my problem felt like a hang-nail.

Inside, I told myself, “It’s nothing. Don’t bother these people!”

That was two years ago. The MRI turned out normal. I’m still healthy and alive and still spinning tunes at our little country church in rural Iowa. But I hope I’m also a little bit wiser. I hope that I will never again consider my problems too small for my friends, or too small for my God.

That truth burrowed deeper into my heart the other night when we sat in the living room with friends, studying John 2. That’s where we read about Jesus’ first miracle. Jesus and his disciples had been invited to a wedding in Cana, when the wine ran out — a major faux pas for a wedding in first-century Galilee. Jesus then performed a miracle. He changed the molecular structure of water and transformed it into wine.*

Jesus’ first miracle wasn’t a healing. He didn’t start his miracle work by giving someone their sight that night, by lifting a paralyzed man to his feet, or by raising a dead person from the grave.

He made wine.

He solved a problem that — by comparison — might seem rather small in the scheme of things. He fixed a problem that, compared to a dying child, might seem like a bit of a hang-nail.

A lot of times, I remind myself that there’s nothing too big for God. But there’s also nothing too small for God. The fact that He cares about the small stuff makes Him even bigger.

It it matters to you, it matters to God.

Maybe you needed to know that today, too.

Maybe everyone else’s prayer requests seem like Stage 4 cancer, and yours looks like a hang-nail.

You need prayer. But you don’t say a word. It’s not because you don’t believe in God, or the power of prayer. It’s because compared to all the other problems in the room, your thing seems smallish. So you keep quiet. And you miss out on the power unleashed through the prayers of people. You miss out on the gift of allowing someone else to help you carry your burden to Jesus.

Friend, if it matters to you, it matters to God.

Your unclear mammogram matters to God. Your lost keys matter to God. Your scuffle at work matters to God. The spat you had last night with your husband matters to God. Your hang-nail matters to God.

Because you matter to God.

Don’t keep it to yourself. It matters to us, too. 

if it matters to you it matters to God

Your Turn:

Do you need Jesus to turn wine into water? Share in the comments. Don’t feel like you have to share specifics. God knows the details! Let’s pray for one another.

* Our Bible study the other night, about miracles, comes from Mark Batterson’s book called The Grave Robber. 

#TellHisStory

Hey Tell His Story crew! It is a joy to gather here every week with you. The linkup goes live each Tuesday at 4 p.m. (CT). If you would use the badge on your blog, found here, that would be great! And if you would visit at least one other blogger in the link-up and encourage them with a comment, that would be beautiful! Be sure to check the sidebar later. I’ll be featuring one of you over there! Our featured writer this week is Elizabeth Giertz. She weaves together a story about doubting Thomas, Santa, and using our gifts to glorify God! Find Elizabeth here. To be considered as our featured writer, be sure to use our badge or a link to my blog from your post. 🙂 xo Jennifer


by | March 15, 2016 | 139 comments

139 Comments

  1. Carly

    Thanks for the reminder that nothing is too little for God to care about- even the wine running out at a wedding! I usually do pray about even the small things by myself but I’m not so good at asking other people to pray. It is good to share these things and support one another though, even in the small things.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Carly, Thanks for your honesty. Praying God blesses you today — in things “little” and things “big”!

      Reply
  2. Karrilee Aggett

    I love this so, my friend! Because – of course… and also because I am preaching on Sunday and my topic? Prayer… (because, of course!) As far as wanting water into wine prayer? Who couldn’t use it for one thing or another (or a dozen other things?) …specifics? Well, just two words: church planting. xoxo

    Reply
    • Betsy Cruz

      Praying right now for the church plant, Karrillee. In the MidEast, we call it CP. 🙂

      Reply
      • Karrilee Aggett

        Well I’m pretty sure in the PNW they call it something else! hehe… I so appreciate your prayers Betsy! I know so many both near and far have helped us get this thing up and running through prayer! We can feel it… and we have no doubt!

        Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, Thank you for equipping Karrilee for this! We praise you in advance for what you will do. Amen.

      Reply
      • Karrilee Aggett

        Amen and Amen, sweet friend!

        Reply
      • Karrilee Aggett

        Thanks Ellen! I know He will… If He calls us, He equips us, right? 😉

        Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Father God we praise You for the doors you have opened to the Glory of Your Kingdom. I pray your blessing upon this ministry you have gifted and equipped Karrilee for. Continue to grow Karrilee in your wisdom and boldness, as she steps out in faith, Lord. Amen.

      Reply
      • Karrilee Aggett

        Thank you so much, Anna!

        Reply
  3. Betsy Cruz

    Oh Jennifer, I think your MRI was a lot more important than running out of wine! Thanks for this encouragement that no problem is too small for God. And if we’re concerned, our brothers and sisters should be too. My prayer need: medical tests I’ll have in 2 weeks. Healthy results.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, I lift Betsy up to you, that you would give her peace in the “waiting room,” so to speak, as she waits to go in for these tests. Keep her healthy, and keep her close. Amen. …

      Yes, I know that the MRI was pretty important. But I hope that the bigger picture wasn’t lost here. People simply don’t ask for prayer, because they play the comparison game.

      Reply
      • Ellen Chauvin

        The comparison game never seems to end, does it?

        Reply
      • Betsy Cruz

        Thanks for that prayer, Jennifer. I appreciate you. Yes, isn’t it great to know that if Jesus cared about wine, he cares about us? I could totally relate to, “Oh this prayer request is not so important as so and so’s.”

        Reply
      • dukeslee

        Betsy — I am back in here, reading through all the prayers. The second half of my comment sounds snippy! … Thanks for your kindness and your comments Betsy. You are such a blessing! xox

        Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Father God I pray for your protection over Betsy and your peace in the waiting.

      Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for you, Betsy! May the God of all Peace wrap around you and hold you close! May His Love and Joy surround you as healing unfolds and hope arises!

      Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Betsy, may you have the balm of peace rather than the axe of anxiety eating away at you in this in-between period and for the tests themselves. Praying for a good outcome and for you to be kept as healthy as possible. Every blessing for the days ahead.

      Reply
  4. Lisa Tindal

    I need peace about a major decision my son is considering. After a year of accomplishment and hard work, he is planning to transfer to another college because he is unhappy. I am afraid ( my gut says) it would be a mistake and he will regret his choice. I need to accept his decision as his alone and leave it for God to intervene rather than me manipulate and agonize.

    Reply
    • Ally | The Speckled Goat

      Praying for him!

      Just know that God will use his choice, no matter what it ends up being. =)

      Reply
      • Lisa

        Thank you praying.

        Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Lord, I pray against the fear that is holding Lisa captive. Lord, you hold her son in the palm of Your hand and have promised never to leave or forsake him or Lisa. I pray Father that you would open Lisa’s heart to receive this promise in trust.

      Reply
      • Lisa

        Thank you this beautiful reminder and prayer. I told him many times during the first semester (he’s at a tough military college) that no one could pluck him from God’s hand.

        Reply
        • Anna Smit

          So hard with our kids…mine are only little and I am seeing that the pain of releasing them just grows as they grow (but I also knows God sees and feels our Mommy hearts!). Hugs from afar.

          Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Lord, we lift up Lisa and her Mama Heart… and we lift up her son. May he hear You clearly and follow your lead! Whatever is causing him to be unhappy, uncover it and bring it to the Light… and let the joy of the Lord take its’ place! Let Love surround them both, in Jesus Name! (I keep hearing that song by Steffany Gretzinger – No Fear in Love!)

      Reply
      • Lisanne

        Thank you for this specific prayer.

        Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Lisa, I’m praying for you to rest and be at peace as you trust God for the outcome here. And for your son to have insight, clarity and wisdom to pause and make the best choices. God is in the detail of everything and will eventually bring it all together for good, no matter what it may look like right now.

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, I lift up to you my sister in Christ Lisa and her son. Guide him to the right decision by giving him divine wisdom, and give Lisa the peace she desires in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Reply
  5. Elizabeth Giertz

    Love this post. I think sharing prayer requests is critical to building community and increasing peace. So, I’d like to ask you all to pray that I get a good night’s sleep tonight. I had a CPAP machine installed today and this will be my first night using it to battle my severe sleep apnea. I’m praying that it will solve a whole host of “hang-nail” issues I’ve been battling for a decade! And, I’m so honored to be featured. Thanks, Jennifer! <3

    Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin

      Praying for you Liz! So happy you’ve got the CPAP – my good friend swears by hers!

      Reply
      • Elizabeth Giertz

        Thanks, Ellen! I have high hopes!

        Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Lord, I pray for your peace upon Elizabeth tonight. Lord, your power and might is far greater than any other forces. Lord, pour out your rest upon Elizabeth tonight. Let her wake up refreshed from a deep sleep. Amen.

      Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for you Elizabeth! Hoping you were able to sleep better last night and praying for a smooth transition in learning how to sleep with the machine! Father God we pray your Rest over Elizabeth and declare Proverbs 3:24 over her! (When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.)

      Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Elizabeth, I pray your nights will begin to get better as sleep quality improves and that you will be able to stay calm as you become more accustomed to using the CPAP machine. You have been battling long and hard and maybe this is time for a renewed health breakthrough. Lord, may it be so.

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      Elizabeth, The comments here were plentiful, and I am just now reaching your request for prayer — two days late! How did you sleep? I will pray for you today, dear sister.

      A joy to feature you and your beautiful blog!

      Reply
  6. Ally | The Speckled Goat

    This was just wonderful.

    And oh, how I understand your feelings. My issues pale in comparison to other problems in my family or in my church family… but why I am comparing my issues to anything is beyond me. Comparison being the root of envy and the thief of joy, I’m not sure God would really want me to compare anyway. (I’m so GOOD at it, though!)

    We’re making some big decisions, my husband and I, and we could really use some wisdom. And I could use some peace.

    Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Lord, pour your wisdom into Ally and her husband, direct their paths as you have promised us you will and Lord, you tell us that you have given us your peace, so I claim that right now for Ally and her family.

      Reply
    • Ellen Chauvin

      Ally, praying for His perfect wisdom and peace that surpasses understanding, for you and your hubby!

      Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for widsom and grace and unity. Let peace be your umpire! (Col 3:15)

      Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Ally, your issues are important to you and also to God. He cares about every tiny detail of your life. Praying you will receive all the wisdom, guidance and inspiration you need to make those big decisions, and may peace to be the umpire in your hearts.

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Jesus, Guide Ally and her family as they need your wisdom right now. They need you to be their compass, to point them true north, at a time when they feel uncertain. Give them your peace and wisdom and strength. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Reply
  7. Anna Smit

    Oh Jennifer, this is such an encouraging reminder! Thank you! I needed to hear this again…and can I tell you that God has been answering my little prayers lately and that these little answers have been what have been growing my trust in Him so much more. It’s been opening my eyes to His incredible love. Have you heard Nicole C. Mullen sing “I Need You (As the Deer)”? Oh how this hit home: “I need you, I need you more than I can explain”. Here’s a link: https://youtu.be/cdSzmpsfbHE

    Reply
    • Anna Smit

      And my prayer request: that the Lord would open the hearts of those I love and those who read my soon to be published book to His great redeeming Love, that the scales would fall from their eyes and that they would lean into God’s Loving Embrace.

      Reply
      • Michele Morin

        Lord, we agree with Anna in praying for her loved ones to respond to truth, especially as it will soon be in their hands in the form of a book – a labor of love from Anna. Please use the message of Anna’s book to touch hearts and to reveal Yourself.

        Reply
        • Anna Smit

          Thank you so much, Michele!

          Reply
      • Karrilee Aggett

        Yes Lord! We pray in agreement with Anna that you will take this offering of words and use it to enlarge and increase your Kingdom – both with those near and dear to her heart, and those far off whom she will not meet on this side of heaven! Let your Love flow through this book, in Jesus Name!

        Reply
        • Anna Smit

          Thank you so much, Karrilee!

          Reply
      • Joy Lenton

        Ana, may your words go forth with faith and be well received by all who need to read them, impacting lives for God’s kingdom. May your family have their hearts opened by God’s grace and learn to lean into His loving embrace. And may you be kept at peace as you share so vulnerably and hopefully.

        Reply
        • Anna Smit

          Thank you so much, Joy!

          Reply
      • dukeslee

        Dear Lord, I join Anna and Joy and Karrilee and Michele in praying for her soon to be published book. Let the words fall on good soil, open hearts, open ears. Let the Holy Spirit flow from the page, to hearts all around the world! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

        Reply
        • Anna Smit

          Thank you so much, Jennifer!

          Reply
    • dukeslee

      Bless you, friend. Thanks for bringing such beauty to the comment box this week!

      Reply
      • Anna Smit

        Thank you for the opportunity to do so, Jennifer. It was a huge blessing and privilege to lift these women and their families up to our Heavenly Father.

        Reply
  8. Anita

    I’ve been the one sitting at the back of hte room fidgiting and almost crying because I know I need to ask for prayer–but I’ve been too proud to ask for it (because 1) I don’t want to burst into tears 2) asking others to pray for something really sensitive seemed like too much to share out loud. I did end up asking a few trusted friends to pray–and their prayer warrior responses and petitions made all the difference in my sanity and my daughter’s life.

    Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Lord, wrap Anita in your loving arms, let her experience your Presence in a fresh way this coming week. Lord, I claim your gift of peace for her right now and the strength to not grow weary in doing good, despite all that she faces. Let her daughter too be drawn by Your incredible Love for her. Lord, let her rest in your arms of comfort and hope.

      Hugs from afar today, Anita.

      Reply
      • Anita

        Thank you so much for your prayers, Anna. They bless me.

        Reply
        • Anna Smit

          The privilege to lift you both up to our Father blessed me so much. God is so good! Love seeing Christ’s Light in you.

          Reply
    • Betsy Cruz

      Lord, pour your peace, your Holy Spirit, your healing power into Anita’s daughter’s heart and mind. Complete your good purposes in her.

      Reply
      • Anita

        Thank you, Sweet Friend! Your prayers are a blessing.

        Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      I love you so! Praying for you and your girlie, sweet friend! He has you both in the palm of His hand… He is well aware… if it concerns you, it concerns Him! Praying for grace, for mercy, for wisdom, healing and hope!

      Reply
      • Anita

        Thank you, Karrilee! I love you, too! I appreciate your prayers on our behalf.

        Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Lord, please give Anita some holy boldness and courage to share with those she can feel comfortable doing so. May she see how tenderly you love her and care for every concern she has for herself and for her daughter. Keep her strong and full of hope, with a confident expectation of seeing good things, and an ability to fully trust You with all her daily needs. Amen

      Reply
      • Anita

        Thank you, Joy! Your prayers on my behalf are a blessing.

        Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, Anita has some obstacles in front of her. I don’t know the details, but You do! I ask that you would provide direction for Anita, and that you would grant her discernment on whom she should share with vulnerably. Give her TRUSTED friends, who will pray but keep her burdens in confidence. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Reply
      • Anita

        Thank you so much, Jennifer. I am blessed by your prayers and by the community you have created here that is so safe and supportive.

        Reply
  9. Ellen Chauvin

    Yep, I’ve done it too. Thinking my problems are too small to share. Thank you for helping change my perspective! Oh, and I’m so happy to see my friend Elizabeth as your featured blogger for the week! YAY!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      It’s a pleasure to feature Elizabeth! I absolutely love the community here at #TellHisStory, and am always so encouraged when I see you all encouraging one another as well. You are all a gift to me!

      Reply
  10. Tara Ulrich

    Oh wow. So I wrote my blog post today and it was all about prayer. Then I came here and you wrote about prayer too. Hang nails compared to all the other prayer requests…oh how often that’s what it has felt like. Yet prayer is this incredible gift. I only have to look back over the prayers I’ve lifted on behalf of others over the last six Lents to see that. I’m not always so good at praying fit myself though. Loved this post!

    Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Tara, may you receive a fresh anointing of courage to not be afraid to ask for prayer when you need it. I may not know your needs but I’m lifting you before the One who does. Bless you, friend.

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      I’m so glad this spoke to you, and I’m encouraged that God is speaking the same word into both of our hearts this week.

      Reply
  11. Mary

    I many times feel like I have the hang nail prayer requests and for that reason they stay silent. I also feel that I need to handle things on my own. Not true if you ask God! I have to tell you that you have inspired me to be bolder in prayer. You have openly shared about your dad and have asked for prayer. This step of yours has helped me to be more open in asking for prayer for my own dad. I am thankful for this lesson and thankful for your example to me.

    Reply
    • Betsy Cruz

      Oh Lord, I pray for Mary’s dad again. Lord, restore his health so that his final years will be glorious. Father, have mercy. Cover Mary with your peace.

      Reply
    • Michele Morin

      Yes, Lord, we continue to lift Mary and her dad up to you. We ask for your healing, restoration, peace, and an awareness of your presence in the midst of these hard days.

      Reply
    • Susan

      Don’t ever be shy in asking for prayer. EVER. Do you get upset when someone asks you to pray for them? Of course not it’s a privilege! You get my message??? LOL!

      Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Oh friend… I’ve been praying for you and for your Dad… will continue to lift you both up!

      Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      Mary, you are part of a loving family and a great writing community. We all want to help to support you in prayer. Thank you for being able to open up about your father’s needs and paving the way for us to keep you both in our prayers. It’s a privilege to do so and I’m glad you found the courage to ask. Blessings in abundance.

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      Your message brings tears to my eyes. Thank you, Mary.

      Reply
  12. Dawn

    Sometimes it feels like asking is stepping out of faith, too, even though that is not the truth. This weekend I had a few hard conversations, one of which went well and was God-honoring and the other, well.. let’s just say left a wounded warrior speechless. It was when a friend called, out of the blue, that I recognized the nudge to share the need for prayer with a trustworthy and gentle soul. It was the exact thing that was needed, even though it wasn’t the first reason for the call. 🙂 We need to give each other the chance to step in and shield in prayer and love deep, to be the hands and feet of Jesus to each other.
    Great reminder, Jennifer!
    Blessings,
    Dawn

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      So glad you reached out to a friend, Dawn! Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
  13. CM Hazelwood

    I’m receiving chemo treatments, and have a new definition of tired. It’s all I can do to make it through the simple things of making meals and doing laundry. Grocery buying is a challenge, and I have to really think and prepare for clothes shopping. Partly because I am not a standard size, and have to really search through the clothes to find both something that fits and something that’s decent! Yes, I would appreciate prayers. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for you CM… Lord, we lift this precious daughter of Yours up to You! We thank you for the work that You are doing in and through her – even in this difficult time! We pray Lord for healing and protection… that You will carry her through these treatments and give her both the rest she needs as well as the energy to do what needs to be done! I pray You will enable her to give herself grace in this season! I also pray Lord that you would bring others around her to help her carry the load… to do the laundry and buy the groceries and help out in big and little ways. I pray she will find herself in the midst of community –of family, who loves well and supports her… and that she will let them serve and love and help.

      Reply
    • Joy Lenton

      CM, I sympathise and can identify with fatigue as paralysing as this, only for very different reasons. As God has given me some energy to read and pray today, I am lifting you up to Him now. May you be able to see and sense what is vital to do and what can be left or be done by others. I ask that God will give you peace as you take time out to rest after the exertion of clothes shopping. May He provide all the extra help and support you need and for as long as you require it. May you be able to relax and just be. See yourself as beloved just as you are, not defined by what you can or cannot achieve in any given day. You are precious. You are loved, and you are a gift to others right where you are.

      Reply
      • CM Hazelwood

        Really thank you for your prayers. I finally got most of the clothes shopping I needed done. And God has provided extra help in lots of ways.

        Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, I pray for CM Hazelwood this morning! We praise you in advance for the healing work you WILL DO in her body. We pray that you would restore her strength, and give her the ability to get simple chores done — or to bring alongside friends or family who can help her, so that she can focus on the hard work of healing. Thank you for CM’s life and testimony. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Reply
      • CM Hazelwood

        Thank you very much! I had the chemo yesterday, and taking it easy today. I was able to do laundry, so now I have clean clothes! Talk about mundane things, but Christ Jesus cares about everything.

        Reply
  14. Carolina Hinojsoa-Cisneros

    What a great post. Nothing is too big or too mundane for God. I love that you reference the first miracle of Jesus. He turned water into wine. I’m learning that at my small group bible study as we dive into “The Grave Robber” by Mark Batterson. Thank you for restoring that image and that miracle in my heart. Have a blessed week and I was so glad to read this today.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      We are loving the study. Are you watching the videos too?

      Reply
  15. PleasingtothePotter

    Something to remind myself of daily Jennifer. I have been there too: sitting towards the back of my Sunday school class as we go around the room with prayer requests. The disappointment I felt that I did not share my prayer requests regarding 2 visits with surgeons last month. I did share praises with them that no surgery was needed and asked for prayer for my father as he suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. It is my prayer that I will never underestimate how much God cares. He instructs us to share with our brothers and sisters in Christ both when in need and as an encourager. I am blessed and encouraged to see how what you are doing here continues to grow. You are one of the first Christian bloggers I met when I first started blogging myself. May God continue to bless you and yours in all your endeavors!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      I’m so glad to see you here in the comment box! I’m also happy to know that these words spoke to you.

      May I encourage you in your blogging journey? Press on, brother. Your words matter to God, and they matter to people. May every word you write be “pleasing to the potter!”

      Reply
  16. Susan

    Jennifer, in all due respect and friendship, what you experienced that morning was pride. How do I know? Been there, done that. My friend just passed away from pride…I know that sounds crazy but she was too prideful to allow the people that loved her to rally around her and pray and comfort and serve. She allowed some “thing” to conjure up in vain imaginations and plant a root of bitterness in her soul. We buried her two weeks ago. NEVER is anything too small or trivial to pray for. NOTHING. NEVER. I’m glad you learned because you are young and will teach this to your girls. Praise God the MRI was clear – I do hope you share this story as a testimony in favor of prayers in any size, with your small country church. Much love…

    Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Oh my friend… I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying grace and peace and release over you! It’s tough when you so want to help and pray –to be hands on, but the door is not opened! Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to honor someones’ wishes. I am praying that regret will not take root and you will know and hear your Father in heaven say Well Done in how you loved her to the end –even if at an arms’ distance!

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      Ouch! 🙂 Yeah, that ol’ pride thing.

      Also, Susan, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing with us. Love to you.

      Reply
  17. Ginger Harrington

    I have often not asked for care because I don’t want to bother others. Reading your post makes me realize this feeling that to ask for prayer is an imposition dishonors my relationships with others and is a lie. I never stopped to think about this before. I’m glad to be aware of this temptation.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Grateful for you, Ginger, and so glad these words spoke to your beautiful heart.

      Reply
  18. Alisa Nicaud

    I love this Jennifer! Why do we internally rank prayer requests according to importance? Probably the same reason we internally rank sin the same way! 😬 Ouch. I’m beginning to learn that when we ask for prayer it’s not really about us. It’s also about the other person. When we allow people to pray for us, we are giving them an opportunity to see God move. It also increases their faith, because they are believing with us! Great reminder today that nothing is so small to ask for- from God or others!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Wonderful insights, Alisa. Thank you!

      Reply
  19. Paige Estes

    I needed that today JDL, thank you. I don’t know why I don’t ask for prayer. I think sometimes its a hang nail and other times, I just don’t like being vulnerable. My parents and my husbands parents are going through some health issues. Nothing life and death, but just a lot of life. I am having symptoms that seem stress related and have recently started a great new job. My husband feels stuck at his job. And we are raising two boys. My life is blessed and I also feel very heavy with these responsibilities. I take on my parents, my in-laws, my husband, my health, my boys and its all very heavy on my heart. I stress eat because I’m tired and don’t know what else to do to help my people and now I have a weight problem to deal with as well. I need prayer. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Paige, that is a big heavy load for anyone! Praying for you to not only find comfort and peace and rest in Him, but also to actually feel that heaviness lift off as you give these things over to Him –sometimes, again and again, right? We all do that… we lay it down and give it over, only to find ourselves clench fisted, holding on to it once more! Praying for your parents and in-laws health… for your new job and your husbands’ ‘stuck’ job, for the raising of two boys… for the stress and stress eating and oh my – I can relate to that one too, my friend! As crazy and impossible as it may sound, the two words that immediately came to me as I began praying for you are these: Self Care. Oh it’s a real thing and I am praying that you will find ways to practice that in your daily life… in big and small ways! And mostly, I am praying that you do not feel alone, or try to carry all of these things on your own. He is near, right there with you… and I am guessing and praying and believing that He will send others to be by your side as well!

      Reply
      • dukeslee

        Karrilee! Thanks for helping carry these burdens to the Lord. You’re a treasure!

        Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Jesus, I bring to you my friend Paige. Like a lot of us, she is feeling vulnerable in prayer. She has a lot of stuff going on, and we know that You see it. Lord, we ask that you would lift their burdens, bring people alongside them to help when the load feels especially heavy, and guide Paige’s husband to the kind of work that feels fulfilling and God-glorifying. Also … when Paige is tempted to turn to food, help her turn to the Bread of Life! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      (Paige – Have you read Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst? So powerful. She may have special insights for you on stress-eating. I loved her book.)

      Reply
  20. Aimee Hawkins

    Thank you, Jen! Please pray for my family, DH, 17 yo son, 13 yo daughter and 11 yo daughter. Specifically, plz pray for wisdom and discernment to know how to move forward as parents and a family as a whole. We just need direction. Been praying and waiting for several years to know and see God at work I. And through us. Really don’t know what to pray…thank you for standing in the gap on our behalf. Blessings~
    Aimee

    Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for you and your family, Aimee! Those are hard ages, individually… and all together I am sure it can feel overwhelming! Praying in agreement with you for wisdom and discernment… for new tools and ways to love and support and lead each of them into being who God made them to be! Praying that God will knit your family together, help you to make new bonds and memories, and strengthen the ties that hold you together to each other and to Him! Most times, for myself, when I haven’t known how to pray for my family – Love has been the answer! (He always is!) 😉

      Reply
      • Aimee Hawkins

        Thank you, Kareilee! Your reply means the world to me. I receive this in Jesus name.

        Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, I lift to you my sister, Aimee. I don’t know the details, but You do. Be a compass in their lives. Give them direction. Point them true north. Do a mighty work, Holy Spirit! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Reply
      • Aimee Hawkins

        Thank you, Dukeslee. Opening my heart and spirit to receive His direction. Love yours and Karrilees analogies-new tools and compass. Thank you for new perspectives. Blessings to you.

        Reply
  21. Joy Lenton

    Oh how this hit home today in all the right ways! Jennifer, we have felt privileged to pray for you and your family and honoured to be drawn into your confidence. Yet how easy it can be to consider our own needs as too insignificant or too intractable. After over 20 years of having M.E and other chronic illness I have acquired a degree of stoicism about having disability, profound pain and fatigue. What I’ve been somewhat slower to learn has been to share the daily struggle, never mind the dark times when life wipes me out and I literally need to retreat to a darkened room for days. When prayers for healing appear to go unanswered, one tends to settle for the status quo as God’s ordained plan. You have woken me up to the need to risk being seen as weak and vulnerable in order to allow others to minister to us. Thank you. Still praying for your family. Bless you for the wisdom you share here. God is working mightily through you!

    Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for you, Joy!

      Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, I bring to you my dear friend, Joy. You bring her to my mind so often, as she struggles with so many health issues. I again ask that you would bring healing and comfort to her. And in the absence of bodily healing, reveal to her Your divine purposes in the midst of her suffering. Thank you for creating Joy, and for giving her a humble and beautiful heart that always reminds me of Jesus, in whose name I pray. …. Amen.

      Reply
    • Anna Smit

      Father God, we know that all that is needed to restore what has been taken and is being taken daily from Joy is your beautiful, loving touch. In Luke 8: 40 – 56 we hear of a woman, who dared “in front of all the people” to “blurt[ed] out her story”. Lord, give Joy such boldness that her name declares: for the joy of YOU, our Lord, is our strength. We claim this strength and joy for your beloved daughter Joy. Clothe her in it to the Glory of Your Kingdom, so that her strength, day in and day out, may testify to Your great Love.

      Reply
  22. Drusilla Barron

    It’s also important to remember that Jesus changed the water to wine in response to prayer. His mother asked. We don’t know if the family was related or friends or something else. We only know she asked and though it was not His hour, Jesus provided excellent wine. So when we ask, we can be like Mary asking for things that don’t seem important but that are. God cares for us in the particulars of our lives. We care for each other in the same way. I’m glad all went well.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      That’s a great insight! Thanks for sharing, Drusilla.

      Reply
  23. Meghan Weyerbacher

    I can really relate to this. I think I actually did this recently. There has been so many friends of mine that have experienced deaths in their family lately, and now in ours, but it is easier for me to shrink back than be speak up – and it follows in many areas of my life, including prayer. It is an area I know I need help and healing with. I linked a post from last week about insecurities. But every time I think hey I have finally grown in this area, I feel like I get knocked back down by my own failure. I think that is why I am drawn to people who don’t hide their brokenness and stuff, who are open to using their story to help others. Thanks for sharing and I praise God that you are healthy and received a good report!

    Reply
    • Karrilee Aggett

      Praying for you and your family, Meghan.

      Reply
      • Meghan Weyerbacher

        Thank you so much!!!

        Reply
    • dukeslee

      Praying for you right now, Meghan, for the loss you’re experiencing.

      Reply
      • Meghan Weyerbacher

        Thank you!!!

        Reply
  24. Trudy Den Hoed

    Thank you for sharing this, Jennifer. I’m often afraid to ask for prayers for that reason and different other reasons. I’m so glad your MRI turned out okay. I love that there’s nothing too small for God!

    Reply
  25. Lyli Dunbar

    Jennifer, this is such a good word. Sharing it with my online prayer group. Thank you xo

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      So glad you found something hopeful and helpful here, Lyli.

      Reply
  26. Bonnie Stafford

    I did that once many years ago. I did not share with my Sunday School class (or anyone, really) that I was having a “routine” hysterectomy. It became very complicated, lasted for hours, necessitated blood transfusions and another surgery weeks later. Thank goodness my parents were there to support my antsy husband (they were getting no updates from the OR). Then I had to explain to all the people who cared about me and would have prayed why I didn’t tell them about the surgery. I am one who doesn’t like attention focused on me, and my situation seemed so insignificant. Lesson learned.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      This is a spot-on example, Bonnie. Thanks for sharing it here.

      Reply
  27. Sue Donaldson

    reading batterson’s book this year – so very encouraging – as you are – i’ve quoted that to my girls but now need to quote it to myself – thanks.
    yes, I have so much to do that my stomach gets nervous/anxious. that matters to God. so thanks, again.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      I am loving this study! Are you watching the videos too?

      Reply
  28. June

    You’re not alone, friend. I have trouble asking for prayer too, and not just asking for prayer, but praying for myself. As you say, not cool. Thanks for the reminder today that God wants us to do both!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thanks for reading and sharing, June.

      Reply
  29. Hollyko

    I can really relate to this post Jennifer. I think I could have written it too. Every time I fail to ask for prayer, I promise myself that I most certainly speak up the next time. Have I ever done that? Nooo. Like you, I never think my needs are big enough for God. Of course I know better but I never want others to think I am weak. Thank you for the reminder. Love your writing. Holly

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Glad you stopped by, Holly. I could relate to this, too. “I know better, but I never want others to think I am weak.”

      Reply
  30. Angela Howard

    Seeking God for direction and praying for a humble heart to listen and obey 😇 Thank you Jennifer!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Dear Lord, I lift Angela up to you this morning. I don’t know all the details, but I know that You do! So give Angela the direction that she desires. Give her fresh insights in Your plans today! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Reply
      • Angela Howard

        I agree! Thank you 😃

        Reply
  31. Jessica

    I had a miscarriage 4 months ago and many days I feel about as sad as I did right after the loss. It’s drawn me closer to the Lord than ever before, but it’s been very hard to be the friend I should be to my friends who are currently pregnant. And I’m in a hard season of waiting now. With Mother’s Day and what should have been my due date approaching I just need prayers for strength and I’m ashamed to say that I rarely ask anyone to pray for me anymore because I don’t want to sound like a broken record over something many see as not a big deal.

    Reply
  32. Elizabeth Stewart

    Thank you for this reminder that everything that matters to me matters to my Father God.

    Reply
  33. Stephanie

    Some how, some way I stumbled upon this blog tonight and I am very thankful in doing so. My father was just diagnosed with a very severe and very special case of rheumatoid arthritis and ever since I found out I have been hesitant to ask for prayer for him and my family because compared to the struggles of others I felt like it was ‘a hang nail.’ You helped me reach out to our family and friends for a prayer request for him. I know it’s all in gods hands so we will be ok! Thank you for lifting my spirits and my faith! May god be with you all!

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. When You Need Some Peace and Quiet - Faith Spilling Over - […] Testimony Tuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRaLinkup, Tuesday Talk with Ruthie Gray,  Jennifer Dukes Lee’s #TellHisStory, Holley Gerth’s Coffee for Your Heart, and…
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  7. Sunday Share | Outrageously Wonderful - […] Why we don’t ask for prayer, even when we should by Jennifer Dukes Lee […]

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