How to Put Up Your Dukes When Happiness is Hard to Find

August 22, 2017 | 29 comments

When I was a little girl, I loved the phrase “put up your dukes.” I suppose that’s because I was a scrawny little Dukes girl, and it astounded me that such a powerful phrase could include my last name. I viewed myself as small, weak, incapable at times, unsure of myself in times of trial. The phrase felt empowering, and when other kids called me by my last name — “Dukes” — I felt strong enough to hurl a bowling ball over the barn.

There are several theories about how the phrase “put up your dukes” came into use.

My favorite theory suggests that “put up your dukes” referred to a king summoning his dukes, knights, and soldiers into battle against an enemy. As a follower of King Jesus, I love that image.

In times like these, when the world seems so harsh, unforgiving and unhappy, I need that image. I need to know there’s a real King who is still on His throne.

And since there’s a real King …. maybe, we are all the dukes. We have a King calling us into battle against a real enemy. The King is “putting up His dukes,” and that means He’s putting up us. We are the dukes, no matter how weak and incapable we feel today.

He is summoning us. And when we’re ready to heed His call, we can practice the Principle of Putting Up Your Dukes.

The Principle of Putting Up Your Dukes became a powerful principle for me when I took my dare toward more happiness.

I learned from people who had faced tremendous hardship in their lives that they had fought for happiness — and wielded it like a weapon. What I discovered is that some of the happiest people I knew had gone through some of the greatest trials, but they followed their King onto the battlefield and refused to give in. They didn’t want to give up on joy, happiness or peace. They didn’t want to sleepwalk through their life.

They learned this important truth:

Sometimes happiness is a choice — a hard choice, but a choice nevertheless. And when you choose happiness, you are not giving into the pain of this world; you are refusing to give in to it.

No matter what we’re facing, we get to choose how we’ll fight. We are the dukes. YOU ARE A DUKES GIRL! (Or Dukes boy — shout-out to the guys who are reading!)

Here is the surprising secret to happiness that we all need to know: The way to happiness is happiness itself. The way to find happiness is to fight for it.

Maybe you’re not ready to fight yet. That’s okay. Go easy on yourself. Maybe you’re like my friend Beth, a woman who has endured great pain in her life the last three years. Sometimes, she told me, fighting for happiness sounds like a lot of work: “My first thought is that happiness is a three-syllable word, and some days that just feels like too much. It’s hard to live, and it’s too big of a word to say.”

Some days you’re not ready for a three-syllable word. Some days you’re not ready for a fight. Be still. Breathe. Remember: It’s okay to not be okay.

But there will come a day when you know that the fight is what will save you. The fight is in you because Jesus is in you. Christ in you, the hope of glory. The hope of everything.

– Love from a Dukes Girl

Edited Excerpt from The Happiness Dare

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by | August 22, 2017 | 29 comments

29 Comments

  1. Jody Ohlsen Collins

    Oh, I like this rendition of ‘putting up your dukes.’ So well said.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      You’re a total Dukes Girl. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Sue Donaldson

    wow and double wow – so very wonderful. Thanks, Miss Put Up Your Dukes. God is especially fond of you, as they say (and they are right!)

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      The gifts should be coming soon! I now have everyone’s mailing addresses!

      Reply
  3. Sue Donaldson

    Ps did I mention I love orange? such a happy color. maybe because i have redhair. not sure.thanks so very much for your generosity and big heart.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Orange is def your color. xo

      Reply
  4. Michele Morin

    Loving that royal job title and challenging job description that goes with it! And it’s true that daring to step into our happiness puts Jesus on display with all the banners and fanfare He deserves!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      I love that image, Michele!

      Reply
  5. Susan

    Oh yes I remember “put up your dukes.” Love that you turned it into a Jesus – Happiness battle cry! As soon as those orange mugs are available I’ll be ordering one. They are sold out at the moment! Will link up in the morning! xoxo

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Keep checking back, Susan. And also … the Rosie’s Boutique Online store will be opening soon. I am thinking they will be carrying the mugs. Check the link in the blog post, and you can sign up to get notified when the store opens.

      Reply
  6. Lesley

    So true that we have to fight for happiness sometimes. I love how you put it that it’s choosing not to give in to the pain of this world. It’s always good to remember that the ultimate outcome of the battle is already decided. And thank you for featuring my post this week- that was a lovely surprise!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      It’s so fun to feature heart-stirring, encouraging, and beautiful posts. We love having you here, Lesley!

      Reply
  7. Meghan Weyerbacher

    Yay this brings me back to last year! I love your heart for others, Jennifer and my coffee-loving taste buds are being drawn to those mugs. Checking this out now!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yeah. So I was needing a little reminder myself, re: Happiness.

      And yes, the mugs are totally adorable!

      Reply
  8. Sarah Geringer

    I am SO excited for two reasons…the amazing $5,600+ donation amount, and the fact that I was chosen as a winner! Thank you so very much, and I’m praying God will do a BIG work in Haiti with the donations.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      So happy for you, Sarah! I am going to do a FB Live early next week with the updated amount. The money has just continued to come in, and I’m so blown away by the generosity!

      Reply
  9. Susan

    Are two comments allowed? Want to thank you for sharing your fun weekend with girlfriends (FB posts) – you took the dare and it looks as though it was well worth it!

    Reply
  10. Kristi Woods

    “But there will come a day when you know that the fight is what will save you…” Amen, Jennifer. Great way to start the day – by reading your post.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      So happy these words came at the right time for you, my friend.

      Reply
  11. robin

    Your title caught my attention! Love it! And I agree, happiness is a choice and I choose JOY! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  12. Nancy Ruegg

    “When you choose happiness, you are not giving into the pain of this world; you are refusing to give in to it.” Reminds me of LaMaze!! There are so many strategies we can implement to bypass at least some of the pain in life and greatly increase the happiness. Your book, The Happiness Dare, presents a number of them! One of my favorites: paying attention. I love making happy discoveries like a house wren in the woodpile, a rainbow in the sprinkler, or a baby’s smile in TJ Maxx! You are so right, Jennifer: “Gratitude is the strong foundation on which our ultimate happiness is built” (p. 245). Thank you for your continued encouragement to fight for happiness–a battle we CAN win because Jesus, our Source of Joy, lives within!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh Nancy. I love that! Thanks for sharing the Lamaze connection. So true!

      Reply
  13. Sue Donaldson

    You will remind us when we can purchase online more orange mugs? thanks, Jennifer. (:

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yes Sue! If you go to the links above, you can click on Rosie’s Boutique online store. It will be open for business in early September!

      Reply
  14. Maree Dee

    I believe it is a choice we just need to learn how to choose well. I choose Joy!

    Reply
  15. Julie Loos

    This Christian walk is a lot about choosing, isn’t it? I want to be a Dukes girl:)

    Reply
  16. Teresa

    I AM A DUKES GIRL TOO! I could so identify with your train of thought as I had the same thoughts growing up.
    “When I was a little girl, I loved the phrase “put up your dukes.” I suppose that’s because I was a scrawny little Dukes girl, and it astounded me that such a powerful phrase could include my last name. I viewed myself as small, weak, incapable at times, unsure of myself in times of trial. The phrase felt empowering, and when other kids called me by my last name — “Dukes” ”
    The phrase “put up your dukes” still brings a smile to my face. Thank you for this article. There did come a day when when I knew that the fight was what would save me. The fight was in me because Jesus was in me. Christ in me, the hope of glory. The hope of everything. I may have added my married name to my maiden name Dukes but I will always be a DUKES GIRL too.

    Reply

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