The One Where I Finally Tell You About My Book, Love Idol

January 6, 2014 | 125 comments

This could be the year we say goodbye.

Goodbye to the inner critic and the scorecards and the mirrors that accuse us. Goodbye to the trying harder, and the working faster, and the performing better, and the digging deeper. Goodbye to the crusade for someone’s approval, or someone’s applause. Because really?

There’s a better way to a new you. It doesn’t begin with a list of promises you’ve got to fulfill, but a list of promises already fulfilled for you. 

God made a New World’s resolution — to save us  — and He kept it. He’s the only God who keeps His promises, and then doesn’t require you to add to it — only to RECEIVE it. He loved us to death, and He loves us to life.

But we can’t receive the fullness of His promise, if we don’t let go of the idols. This could be the year we deliberately lay it all down:

Lay down every mirror, every tally sheet, every report card, everything that tells you that you’re not (______) enough. This year, say it loud to the world, and loud to your very own self: “I’ve had enough of the Not-Enoughs.”

Then, watch how that one lifeless idol crumbles at the foot of the cross.

This is happening, friends:


Back Cover: “You’ve felt it—that deep longing for people to value you, respect you … and love you. You’ve worked hard for their approval. You’ve wanted to make people think you’ve got it all together, but on the inside, you’re falling apart.

Jennifer Dukes Lee knows exactly how it feels to be chained to an approval rating. Jennifer has spent plenty of time and energy trying to earn others’ approval—at work, home, and church—all while wondering what would happen if the facade dropped and everyone saw her hidden mess. She’s made the same mistakes many on of us make as we try to sprint for significance—and wear ourselves out pursuing human love and acceptance above all else.

And now Jennifer leads you on a journey to rediscover the joy found in the unconditional love of God. Through her own life journey, she gently invites you to make peace with yourself and to stop working overtime for an approval that is already yours in Christ. Love Idol will help you dismantle what’s separating you from true connection with God and rediscover the astonishing freedom of a life lived in authentic love.”

Friends, My heart broke wide open with this book. I have been tapping out this story for more than a year. And I offer these words for you, for any one of you who wants to really know she’s loved and approved. Because you are — more than you ever dreamed.

This book, releases April 1 (Tyndale Momentum), with a four-week discussion guide:

Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need for Approval—and Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes. 

The foreword is written by Lisa-Jo Baker, social-media manager to DaySpring and author of Surprised by Motherhood. Lisa-Jo’s words are life-giving, and I consider it a great privilege to have her beautiful prose shining on the first pages of my book.

Lisa-Jo and I want you to know this:

God’s fathomless love changes how we will live in our moments, how we’ll love in our neighborhoods, and what we’ll be known for in eternity.

I have decided.  I want to slay the love idol.  I want to be about the cause of Jesus. I want to follow Christ, not the crowd. And I will fight for that until the end.

You in?

“That endless, exhausting crusade for approval? Ends here. A brilliant writer, Jennifer Dukes Lee takes you to the foot of the Cross—and takes one stunning hammer to the foot of the Love Idol. Read this book—and walk free.”

~ Ann Voskamp, author of the New York Times bestseller

Pre-order your copy at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Christianbook.com.


#loveidol

#slaytheloveidol
#preapproved

by | January 6, 2014 | 125 comments

125 Comments

  1. Dawn Paoletta

    I’m in! Slay Away!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Let’s do this. #karatechoptheloveidol #slaytheloveidol #dropkicktheloveidol

      🙂

      Reply
  2. Lori Tintes Hartmann

    LOVE this! Putting this book on my wish list! 🙂

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      I pray, Lori, that the words will bless your precious soul, and that God will whisper His love to you today. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Anna Lee

    Hi Mom. Yay! You got the book information out. Love Anna

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thank you, Anna! You and Lydia and Daddy have been THE BEST cheerleaders. Love you so, so, so much.

      Reply
    • Lisa-Jo Baker

      What Anna said. So proud of you and to be in any way associated with this wonderful book. So much love. LJ

      Reply
      • dukeslee

        Smooch. Love you back, girl. #preapproved

        Reply
  4. KristinHillTaylor

    So, so exciting. I’m looking forward to reading this.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Such fun to finally share the details here, Kristin. Love you to pieces, friend .

      Reply
  5. Sarah

    Ah! Love the topic. Thanks for writing on it. Can’t wait to dig in!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Sarah,

      Thank you for dropping by and offering encouragement. Praying for all of the women (and men who are daring enough to pick up a book with lipstick on the cover! 🙂 ) … praying that we’ll slay the love idol with one bold hammer.

      Reply
  6. Laura Rath

    I’m in with you Jennifer! As I read your post here, I remembered (not that I really forgot) that my phrase for this year is…Let go. Not a coincidence, I’m sure!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh, friend … Thank you for jumping in with me. It means so much. This community here? It’s the one that gave me the courage. I really appreciate you.

      It’s also no coincidence that my guest post at your place today deals with a key piece of the Love Idol … comparison.
      http://laurarath.blogspot.com/2014/01/when-you-stop-comparing-and-start.html
      Thank you for hosting me today. I’m so excited about your series. I’ll be over to touch base soon!

      Reply
  7. Karrilee Aggett

    Oh my friend… you KNOW I am in! I can. not. wait. for this!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yay! Love it that you’re in. Love it that you’re here. So grateful for your words and your encouragement.

      Reply
  8. Amy Bennett

    First, congratulations!

    You wouldn’t believe what verse God gave me today. Galatians 1:10. Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I’m still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

    I’m learning, slowly. Can’t wait for this book to be a part of my journey!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Amy! Thank you so much for being here, for encouraging, and for plunking down the verse that is the spine of the whole message. Galatians 1:10 is so central to the message of the book. How cool is that, that you would mention it here, on this day?

      Thank you so much!

      Reply
  9. Mary Bonner

    I pre-ordered my copy last October…CAN. NOT. WAIT. I know this book will minister to me exactly where I need it. Thank you for writing it Jennifer!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      I’ll never forget that moment, in the hotel room, where you all had your phones out and ordered. It meant a lot. God has surrounded me with great friends. You are among them!

      Reply
  10. Cori D. :)

    So exciting! And a book I desperately need to read! Thank you!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      OH Cori … Me too. It was a book I desperately needed to write. It was a game-changer for me, what God showed me as I studied and wrote and experienced life in a new way. It’s been a long road, and as you might guess, I had to share some parts of my life that aren’t very pretty.

      Reply
  11. Sharita ~7DaysTime

    PTL, friend! This is gonna be a goodie, no doubt. Can’t wait 🙂

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yay! Thank you, Sharita. You are such a dear soul. Love you.

      Reply
  12. SimplyDarlene

    Definitely – you are not in it alone, sister!

    It’s so interesting how God winds and weaves lessons He so wants us to hear, aye?

    I have an image of the sun shining bright through the woods with these words printed across the shadows: “Who you are has nothing to do with what others think about you. Instead, you are has every single thing to do with what you believe God thinks about you.”

    This must be it – time to kick our collective idols to the curb!

    Blessings. (& congrats!)

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Darlene, I LOVE that quote. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. That is definitely the essence of the book. You are such a blessing in my life. Grateful to have you here, celebrating today.

      Reply
      • SimplyDarlene

        ack! even with the typo of the missing word in the quote? 😉

        Reply
  13. ro elliott

    I am sure this book is filled with life giving words…congrats and I look forward to reading and hearing more about it…I pray you feel His refreshing grace after this labor of love!!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      It’s been a long process, and God used those words in the book to take me on a life-changing journey of the heart. I pray that the words will be a game-changer for women who read them.

      Reply
  14. Barbie

    Oh yes! I’m in!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Woot! Thanks friend. xo

      Reply
  15. Beth

    Yay! I’m pre-ordering mine. Can’t wait to read!!! So excited for you. 🙂

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh Beth… That means so much. Thank you for having God-fidence in my words.

      Reply
  16. Deb Anderson Weaver

    I need to read this!!!!!!!!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      And I needed to write it — for my own love-idol-ridden heart. It was a path toward freedom, and I can’t wait to share it with you.

      Reply
  17. Michelle DeRusha

    Yay, Yay, Yay! Cartwheels, jumping jacks, fireworks!!! I am SO excited for the official announcement, Jennifer. I know this is a big day, both for excitement and trepidation – praying for you and LOVING you, girl!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      A friend asked me yesterday what she could do during this whole marketing process. I told her, “Remind me to breathe.” (I think you probably know what I mean!)

      Another friend Voxed, and reminded me to have FUN. I can be so dramatic, and nervy, and her voice on the other end was a needed reminder that I don’t have to take myself so seriously.

      Praying for you, too, Michelle.

      Reply
  18. Jeff Braun

    What an important topic for today, Jennifer. For one thing, so many of us are preoccupied with how people respond to our posts on social media. I like the provocative title and cover imagery. Good decisions were made, starting with you writing the book!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Hi Jeff, Yes. Social media is like a quick-hit drug for the approval junkie. And it’s creating new addicts, I’m afraid. We are so impatient for someone to tell us *now,* right now, now! NOW! — that we matter. The refresh button is like popping another pill. “Did anyone else comment?” …

      Thank you for stopping in to say hello. It means so much. Truly.

      Reply
  19. Shawn

    Well done.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thanks so much, Shawn.

      Reply
  20. Amy

    I’m So in and grateful for your words that are always an encouragement. Thank you for bravely following the call on your life, Jennifer!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Big hugs, Amy! Thanks for your encouragement.

      Reply
  21. Shelly Miller

    So excited for you and those of us who will read the pages of your book and be transformed by them. I’m cheering for you from the sidelines, believing in your voice, loving you all the way to the finish line.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      It’s as if you read the epilogue! (The sidelines, finish line imagery here… )

      Love you, Shelly.

      Reply
  22. Lori Harris

    So happy for you Jennifer! Can’t wait to get my hands on a copy!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thank you, Lori. So grateful for your encouragement. And I pray that the book encourages you in your journey of faith.

      Reply
  23. Elizabeth

    Love you, three cheers. No 3 hundred cheers. Joining hands in joyful hand squeezes (())

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh, how you make me smile. Love you, Elizabeth. God bless.

      Reply
  24. Laura Risser Moss

    How very exciting! For you AND for each of us touched so deeply by all of the words you share. Yay, you!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Grateful for your words here. Thanks so much, Laura.

      Reply
  25. Glenda Childers

    Well done. Can’t wait to read it.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thank you, Glenda!

      Reply
  26. ThandiweW

    Jennifer,
    So very exciting. I know this is going to speak to our deepest fears and insecurities. I’ve been refreshing your page all morning in anticipation of this annoucement…and it’s even better than I expected. To God be the Glory, and Way to GO!!
    Chelle

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh, Chelle. That is my heartfelt prayer … that the words will speak to fears and insecurities. Thank you.

      Reply
  27. Erin @ Home with the Boys

    Wonderful, lovely lady. I cannot WAIT to read this! Congrats and blessings to you and all who read it!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thank you so much, Erin. I hope I get to see you again, in 2014. Meeting you in 2013 was a real treat. Keep up the great work on your websites. You’re doing amazing stuff!

      Reply
  28. Barb Nichols

    Did you write this just for me?? I believe so. Can’t wait!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      And for me. He did a number on me with this one. Thank you, Barb, for being a very special part of this book. Can’t wait to share that piece soon!

      Reply
  29. Lydia Lee

    I am so proud of you for writing a book, Mom. This is so exciting! Yay! I know God will use this book in amazing ways. His plan for you is good… 😀
    Lydia

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Lydia, Thank you so much for your kind words. You and Anna and Dad are the very best cheerleaders and encouragers. Let’s do this, OK? Let’s keep reminding each other how much we’re ALREADY LOVED and APPROVED by the King of Kings.

      Reply
  30. Matthew Kreider

    I sense a spirit wind will accompany this book, JDL. 🙂

    May we all see the catastrophic in us become beautiful again. I’ve got deep gratitude and joy for your hard work on this project. Not to mention for your wide-open heart and far-reaching wisdom. 🙂

    Let Him stir and move. And watch what happens. 🙂

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      “the catastrophic in us become beautiful again”

      Love that, Matthew. Thanks for this.

      Reply
  31. Lorilee Torgerson Mundfrom

    Excited to read this. Thank you for this.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Appreciate your words here. Thanks, Lorilee.

      Reply
      • Lorilee Torgerson Mundfrom

        You are welcome.

        Reply
  32. Rachael

    Very much looking forward to this!

    Reply
  33. MsLorretty

    FINALLY is right! 🙂 Fantastic news dear Jennifer! Let’s put on our Iron Maiden gear and go slay that thang! 🙂 Congratulations!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      This has taken approximately FOREVER. 🙂 … And April 1 is still a fair way off, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to share. 😉

      Reply
  34. lindalouise

    I have been waiting and waiting for this Jennifer. I am all in. Praying now that the Father will use the words He’s given to speak His unending love to the hearts of us who have tried so hard to be enough. I am crying happy tears for you.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      You are so dear to me. Thank you. Indebted to you. All of your prayers. I’m just … very … grateful.

      Thank you for those prayers for the women who will read this book. I pray every day for those women, and am positively in love with them, even though I can’t see their faces!

      Reply
  35. Cari Kaufman

    I am so excited to finally read this! I can’t wait to get my copy!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh, Cari! Thank you. I pray that the words wrap a gentle hug around your heart, reminding you how much your loved by the King.

      Reply
  36. David Rupert

    JLD, so happy for you, my friend. I know the labor you’ve gone through for this baby..Cheering you on~!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Longest. Pregnancy. EVER! Thanks for your encouragement along the way.

      Reply
  37. Kris Camealy

    I’m just so giddy about this. Will you sign a book plate for me in February? I love you–

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yay! Yes, yes! So glad to be on this journey together with you.

      Reply
  38. Ann Berge Barkel

    I am so proud of you! And I can’t wait to read, and share, and give away, and promote, etc! 🙂

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh Ann … This means so much. Thank you for your friendship and your encouragement.

      Reply
  39. Kim @ Kim's County Line

    It looks wonderful. Congrats on being another step closer!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thank you, Kim. Another step closer indeed. April 1 will be here before we know it. No joke. 😉

      Reply
  40. floyd

    Congratulations! I’m happy for you, sister! May our Father use the words He placed in your heart to break the chains on all the reader’s hearts.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Thanks, Floyd. Thank you for that prayer. Means so much.

      Reply
  41. Audra Krell

    Thrilled for you Jennifer and even more for us, the reader! Cannot wait for this much needed book. Congratulations!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Audra! So great to see you here. Thank you for your encouragement.

      Reply
  42. Leah Adams

    Can’t wait to get my copy, but I want an autographed copy! Will I be able to get one from you?

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      That would be such a privilege to autograph a copy to you, my dear friend. xo

      Reply
  43. Lynn D. Morrissey

    When we lay our idols down, especially at the foot of the Cross, then we raise Him up. Without even having read your book yet, Jennifer, I know unequivocally that this is what you have done….layed your idols down, and raised up the name of Christ through the words and message that He has given you. I will be so pleased to read this book, and to know Christ deeper and dearer as a result. God bless you for your obedience, Jennifer–first to smash and then to share. I rejoice in what the Lord has done.
    All my love,
    Lynn

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Uproot idol. Plant with Christ. Uproot idol. Plant with Christ. Repeat as necessary. Daily.

      ^^^^
      That up there?
      That is what God is teaching me. So grateful for His direction, and His unending grace.

      Love you, Lynn. So very much, my beautiful friend.

      Reply
      • Lynn D. Morrissey

        Oh this is the Hosea & Jeremiah message for sure: uprooting the weeds in fallow ground. I’m there, Jennifer; Oh, i’m there!

        Reply
  44. Dena Dyer

    I’m so excited for you and proud of you, like a big sister. 🙂 I KNOW this book is going to bless many, many hearts. Praying for you as you launch this heart-book. And cheering you on as you do both the easy and hard, large and small things that go along with book promotion–in His strength, for His glory. HUGS!.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      You are like a big sister, and you’ve held my hand, friend. Love you so. You lead well … by following Christ.

      Reply
      • Dena Dyer

        Thank you so much, Jennifer. You warm my heart. 🙂

        Reply
  45. DeanneMoore

    Jennifer, you are such a reflection of the love of Christ to this world. Can’t wait to see what he gave you to share with us! So sweet to see your girls cheering you on. Congrats!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Seriously cannot think of a nicer thing to hear tonight. Humbling words. Love you, Dea.

      Reply
  46. Michele-Lyn

    Eeek! This sounds amazing! You are amazing! I am doing the happy dance now for you!! I am so excited and ready to read this!!! Woot! Praise God for His life-giving, soul-freeing truth, and for Him using you to bring it to the Body of Christ. I love you!!! I can’t wait to see you in February!

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yay! This is happening. Can’t wait to catch up with you in Texas. One month! By then, you’ll have come back from the trip of a lifetime. Cannot wait to hear all about it.

      Reply
  47. lynndiane

    I think a lot of us need this book’s message for our love-hungry hearts…I pre-ordered my copy! Looking forward to a great read, Jennifer.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      “Love-hungry hearts.” That is it, exactly, Lynn Diane. And to fill our hearts with the only love that will filll, yes? So grateful for your trust and confidence, with your pre-order. It means so much. I pray that the words in the book are a blessing to you.

      Reply
    • Lynn D. Morrissey

      I’m right there w/ you, too, Lynn Diane…..w/ a heart hungry for HIm!
      Love
      Lynn Diane

      Reply
      • lynndiane

        Yes! You make me smile 😀

        Reply
  48. Pam

    Congratulations on finishing this, Jennifer… God shines in the words He puts in you, so I know this will be a book that leads others to Him, to His healing, to His grace. I’m excited for you… and to read your words on the pages of a real book. 🙂

    Pam, apples of gold

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Pam! So grateful for your words here. Thank you for cheering and encouraging. Praying today — and every day — for the women who will read Love Idol. I pray that they know, in the deepest parts of their souls, how dearly they are ALREADY loved.

      Reply
  49. Jacque Watkins

    Oh Jennifer…no words for how BIG God is going to use this. I just know it. I am so SO cheering for you and this message for our hearts! With so much love, friend…xo

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      So much love to you, Jacque. Thanks for joining me on the journey. Hope I get to see you again soon. You are so delightful online, and it was a great joy to meet you in person in 2013.

      Reply
  50. Amy Hunt

    So. In.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Yay! I love being where you are … in the places where you are. Love you, Amy.

      Reply
  51. Rebekah

    Jennifer, you are a brilliant writer and a beautiful woman being used by God to point so many others to tell the wonderful story of the gospel and to lay down idols and to love the Lord wholeheartedly. I look forward to someday reading the words that you have birthed in your book.
    “To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.”

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Oh, Rebekah. Reading those verses in the KJV? Brought a huge wave of relief and truth to my heart. Yes. That is the essence of the book. So grateful for your sharing.

      Reply
  52. Sharon O

    Can’t wait for this. So exciting.

    Reply
    • dukeslee

      Me, too. Thanks, Sharon!

      Reply
  53. Jen Ferguson

    So excited!! Can’t wait to read it!

    Reply
  54. Dawn Camp

    I am so happy for you and I can’t wait to read your book!!! The cover is perfect. I’m here to help in any way I can.

    Reply
  55. Elizabeth Stewart

    I am so excited and so happy for you!

    Reply
  56. Christa Sterken

    Jennifer! Congrats, what an important message. I will be happy to share and order the book! Maybe I can save for an extra and give one away. I wish you much success

    Reply
  57. Angie Ryg

    You know I love your words. And now to be able to see them shared to even more people…this makes my heart so happy. I am cheering for you and cannot wait to see all that God does through this book and His truth of LOVE! XO

    Reply
  58. Sam Van Eman

    Congratulations again, Jennifer. Love the cover. This story is going to encourage a lot of people.

    Reply

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