I remember her fingers most — wrinkled and red-blotched and tipped in translucent nails. The nurse lay this newborn on my belly, a hollowed womb.
She had a misshapen head, reddish-purple.
I memorized all of her parts — the goofy and the pretty.
Oversized head, on a five-pound body.
Blinking eyes, studying me.
Matted hair, near-black, like her mama’s.
Vernix, trapped in creases.
She was heiress to my DNA.
The nurse said she already had “teeth buds” erupting from gums, so I gently opened her tiny mouth with my forefinger. Thirty years previous, I was born with two tiny teeth on the bottom row.
I wanted to remember it all. For I’d never seen anything more beautiful than my firstborn.
I bent my forehead to hers, and we breathed in each other’s breath. Tears fell in slow, salty rivulets, and I caught them with my tongue.
I memorized her …
This is how we get know a person — we lean in close to study all the parts, unveiling them layer by layer until we know a person through and through.
And this is how we get to know The Person.
We lean in.
We Get Down.
We chase hard after the details — the ugly and the pretty.
This is the only way to really know the Firstborn among us.
I want to fall so deeply into Him that I can never find my way out again. I want the Person — who is the Word — to pour salty rivulets through me. I want all of it — not just the pretty parts.
But do I really?
Let me tell you the truth of my two-faced heart: I want more of Him, but so often, I zip up the Person into the leather-bound cover of my Bible.
I keep the Word trapped between the covers. Sure, I read the words. But do I really let these words have their way with me? Do I search them in a way that they become a part of who I am?
Am I too busy?
Or just too scared?
It’s like I have an on-again, off-again affair with memorizing the Word. Why?
I know that when I study the words, I am getting to know The Word — the Logos-man who became flesh.
Christ Jesus, you had tear-ducts and translucent fingernails and baby teeth and DNA and fingerprints all your own. You became Man with shoulders broad enough to carry a cross up a hill.
And I want to follow you. I want to get so close that you can feel my breath between your shoulder blades. I want to study You, the Person.
I don’t want to hide you between leather covers. I want to hide You in my heart.
I want to begin again.
I want to memorize you.
This week, Ann Voskamp asks her community to consider memorizing Scripture
. She encouraged us to do the same last year, and I dove head-first into Romans 8, using many of the techniques that she shares on her blog.
However, I haven’t keep up the practice of memorization.
This fall, I want to start anew. (And I love that we can always, ALWAYS, start over with Jesus!) Do you have any tips for memorizing? Any verses you’ve been committing to memory? I’d love to hear.