Finding the Fearless You (A Post for Moms, Grandmas, & the Girls We Love)
My Own Fear Factor
By Lynn Cowell
Long past the point when most kids move on, I was still afraid of the dark. Would someone come up the stairs and into my bedroom as I tried to sleep? Since I couldn’t see, I didn’t know.
Though I was in junior high, the bright hall light continued to stay on all night, peering down the stairs, keeping guard over me.
Did you too have a fear that wanted to linger longer?
Many of us have roots of fear that settled into our hearts when we were young … and some of them just didn’t grow away.
My husband and I both come from the same small town, surrounded by corn fields. When he and I got married, we made our decision to honeymoon within driving distance simply out of fear. There was so much to be scared of far from home: the fear of driving through a big city, renting a car or navigating places we had never been. These fears, planted in our young hearts, had begun to grow.
Yet fear is not what I wanted. My desire to push past fear to experience all that God had for me began to grow. Yet digging out of my doubt would not be easy.
Of all my fears, the most powerful was my fear of people. My fear of not having their approval … and even more than that — of disappointing them. This fear of people held me back all too often from trying new things. What if I wasn’t great? What if other people counted on me and I let them down? What if they made fun of me for trying something new? That’s a lot of what if’s, isn’t it?
I needed help from adults, wiser than myself, to give me the push to move forward. Adults who knew the truth – what God’s word said about me – gave me the tools to push fear out so the fearless me could grow. I began to give more time and attention to faith instead of fear, and I found myself becoming brave.
That was one reason I wanted to write my new book, Brave Beauty: Finding the Fearless You. It’s a guide for young girls right at this pivotal age — between 8 – 12 — when they move from being a child toward becoming an adult, because I think that this “tween-ager” stage can be the prime time when fear sets in.
Just as I needed someone as a young adult, to show me the tools to find my fearless self, so does that young girl in your life. And you don’t have to be fearless yourself first! You can become brave together!
Becoming brave is a bit like working out (which I do not really enjoy, by the way!). I work out because I want to be the most rockin’ grandma if my kids have kids one day … the one who takes her little people bike riding, hiking and rides the roller coaster with them. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even skydive again if one of them wants!
The reality is, if I don’t work out now and don’t do what I don’t like to do, that “dream” is never going to happen. I have to do the hard stuff now if I want that to be my reality later. I have to work to become the woman I want to be.
I found the same to be true in my spiritual life. If I want to be a woman who is brave enough to talk to the cashier about Jesus, try a new volunteer role at church or create videos to teach women God’s word, I have to work out my spiritual muscles and do what I don’t want to do…the very thing I am afraid of. I have to pour God’s word into my heart to empower me to be brave and then I have to simply take that first step.
Start smiling and talking to the cashier instead of being on my phone … which I still do at times.
Say “yes” to helping new people in my community make our church their home.
Write teachings, get on a plane and sit in front of a camera, sharing with women how they can make their move to find unshakeable confidence despite our fears and failures (all the while shaking).
Being brave isn’t a feeling; it is an action we can take, even while we are quivering!
This is what I want my kids to see … their mom going for it, even knowing that she is scared out of her pants!
So, while I wrote Brave Beauty for young girls, I also wrote it for us. Those of us who are still scared, little girls, wanting to be brave and find our fearless self. As we use this book, this companion guide to learning to become courageous, confident and fearless, may we soak in His truth to us and find our fearless selves as well.
Today, Lynn is giving away a free download — the “I Am Brave Printable” — as a daily reminder for girls of all ages to be brave. Click here to receive the free download!
Brave Beauty helps tween girls to:
- Gain confidence by accepting her unique qualities and understand how they can work for her, not against her.
- Discover who God says she is, in His eyes, and how He can help her.
- Discuss the tough stuff she’s going through as she changes physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually.
- Learn how God’s words can help her become brave and beautiful.
Order before August 31st and receive these confidence-building resources:
Click here to access all the downloads mentioned above (and to submit the form to receive those downloads).
is a Lynn CowellProverbs 31 speaker and the author of several books, written for young girls, teen girls and women of all ages. Her newest book Brave Beauty: Finding the Fearless You is written for girls ages 8 -12. Make Your Move: Finding Unshakeable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures, a Bible study for women, releases this fall. Lynn calls home North Carolina, where she and her husband, Greg and the occasional backyard deer are adjusting to life as empty nesters.
© 2017 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.
Hey Tell His Story crew! It is a joy to gather here every week with you. The linkup goes live each Tuesday at 4 p.m. (CT). If you would use the badge on your blog, found here, that would be great! And if you would visit at least one other blogger in the link-up and encourage them with a comment, that would be beautiful! Be sure to check the sidebar later. I’ll be featuring one of you over there!
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To be considered as our featured writer, be sure to use our badge or a link to my blog from your post. xo Jennifer
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This mum of four boys is looking forward to the birth of her first granddaughter in a couple of weeks, so with a nearly-vertical learning curve, I welcome news of this resource for equipping and generating important conversations with the girls in our lives and in our hearts. Thanks, Lynn — and thanks, Lisa!
Thank you so much for sharing today, Jennifer! I appreciate you!
Oh yes, I know all about fear. I wish I did not. This book sounds amazing. I love part about taking the small step. It is the small changes that make a huge impact! Thank you for this, Lynn and thanks for having her Jennifer!
It’s amazing how fear can still get a hold of me, and I am waaaay beyond those tween years. However, there were lessons I learned in those years that laid the groundwork for fear to weave itself into my self-concept. I love that you, Lynn, have created such an amazing resource for young ladies. I only have boys, but maybe one day I’ll have a little grand-girl. 🙂
Sounds like a phenomenal book and one I could have used for my grand-girl Hannah 10 years ago. But this Mimi persevered and reminded her to be bold, be strong for the Lord her God went with her. And, I taught her to do things afraid. Today at almost-21? She is a warrior for Christ, studying social work at Liberty U. and yearning to go to Uganda and serve Christ by loving others. I do believe we did a good job!!! THANK YOU JESUS.
What a great resource for girls! Fear takes on so many forms and sneaks in so easily that it can be hard to identify. I love that this is available for girls to combat fear early on!
Can’t wait to get my hands on this book for my soon-to-be 9 year old!!!
This book looks terrific, I wish I’d had it when I was a tweenager. I want to be bold in this life!
Yep, this book sounds perfect for that tween stage girls must navigate. The more input and tools for finding our brave, confident, faith-centered selves the better. I’ve a few years to wait until my grand-girls are ready, but I’m pleased to know such a resource is available.