#PreApproved Sisterhood Series
Welcome to a new series, hosted here on the blog. Every Tuesday night, one of our PreApproved sisters will share her story on letting go of a love idol.
Together, we’re giving up our love idols, and we’re not taking them back.
We are already approved; we have nothing to prove. In Christ, we are #preapproved.
When I Started Living As if God Is Enough
By Rhonda Quaney
With the kind of beautiful abandon, only a girl-child is able to embody, she leans back in the swing and presses her bare heels straight up into the powdery blue heavens. Cotton-like clouds appear to be hanging off the tips of trees, which seem to swirl like the mobile over her baby brother’s crib. She imagines these wispy puffs to be the shape of a bunny, another one is a boat with its sail flapping and still another cloud seems to rise like an angel with feathery wings spread wide.
The sweet scent of cottonwood trees lace the air that rustles the lace on her cotton dress. Warm summer air rushes across her flushed cheeks, as it forces blonde ringlets to sweep back. The thick rope that holds the wooden seat creaks lightly with each pendulum like motion. Surging momentum, inspires her to lean in, pushing to go higher still.
That’s how I imagine it was that day, for my friend Cherri. We were at the Jumping Tandem retreat, sitting in a small break-out session, led by Emily Wierenga. Emily had posed this question: “What are some of your little girl dreams?” After being prompted to share her response, Cherri turned to face the room of women, swallowed hard and in her tender voice she shared this precious childhood memory. “When I was a little girl, I would swing. I would swing as high as I could and I would tell God that I wanted to swing so high ….that I could reach out and touch Him.”
Her words were so simple, yet they swept in and shook up my grown-up girl heart.
Unexpectedly, my glossed-over outer layer of self-definition cracked. I wondered when I had lost the uncomplicated child-like wonder of God and how He designed me. The more I considered what that looked like for me, the lines blurred of who I had become and who I longed to be.
Months passed, and these thoughts persisted. What were the dreams of this blonde-headed girl who was raised just a little north of one small town? Before mean girls whispered behind my back and taunted me to my face, before family became hard or the gaze of boys became too important? Who was I before the walk to the edge of a grave that held all of my dreams, along with my young husband? Before children broke my heart, cancer mangled my body and religion left me empty?
Who was I before I longed for the approval of all those who withheld it?
And more importantly, how can a woman get a fresh start in the right now of life and stop living as if her God isn’t enough to answer all of those questions and more?
What has emerged this last year is a season of tender desire to reclaim some child-like wonder in my grown-up heart. A deeper sense of my purpose has been reclaimed, that was buried under layers of life. And Love came in, wrapping His strong arms around me, bringing a fresh believing that the eternal strands of my DNA are wrapped securely around the One who designed me.
The little girl who became the woman I am, could not have arrived at this point, apart from the pathway that has been traveled. Jesus never missed a thing along the way. He was always there, moving toward me, even when I was running away. He uses the pieces of past experiences, failures, and successes to write my story. Seeing myself in the purity and beauty that exists in every little girl has given me new wings of freedom.
Jesus was within reach the whole time.
Now, I just want to live this one life with abandon, like my God is really enough.
My name is Rhonda Quaney and I ……am preapproved!
About Rhonda: I share stories to bring God glory. I write about the journey of faith, shared with family and friends, which often involves food. I’m crazy in love with my husband and the season of life we are in. What I know, is that God is a lavish Giver of great gifts.
You can find me at rhondaquaney.com
THE LOVE IDOL MOVEMENT
Click here to find out more about the Love Idol movement.
Click here to purchase the book that inspired the movement.
Click here to join us on Facebook as we lay down our Love Idols and declare our #preapproved status in Christ.
Click here to print the black and white preapproved cutouts.
Place these where ever your Love Idols have lurked!
A pink PreApproved printable: to frame, to put on your refrigerator, to give to a friend.
Click here to print. My gift to you, brave soul!