Inside Out

March 26, 2009 | 10 comments

“Patience,” the doctor told me this week. “This is going to take time. A lot of time. Be ready for it, OK?”

I’ve lost count now. I no longer know how many times I’ve been to the doctor, to the emergency room, the X-ray room, to the laboratory following my car accident.

More than two months have passed. The Y-shaped wound — the one that reminds me of Yahweh — is still there on my leg. It’s not just a scar, but a wound, still in need of healing. It’s a reminder of my accident. But it’s more than that. It’s a reminder of God’s protection.


But it hasn’t healed. The appearance of outward healing was only a disguise, the doctor says. Underneath, I’m still hurting.

I have an infection. Sometimes, when it gets bad, some ugly stuff seeps out. When it’s really bad, it hurts.

But you know what? God is still God. He gets it. He knows when I hurt. He’s in control. I just want to testify to that right now: I trust God.

With this Y, I refuse to ask “Why.” He was there. He is here. He knows the answer. Why ask why?


The doctor gave me an antibiotic, opened my wound again — the second time now — and told me to let this one heal from the inside out.

From the inside out.

An open wound. We’re starting over …

Oh, glory to God. What better way to heal? Not just physically, Lord, but heal the rest of me, too, Lord. Let me heal from the Inside Out.

No faulty appearances. No pretenses. No surface healing. But full healing, from the Inside Out.


“Y. Not Why.”

“Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out”
— “Inside Out” by Hillsong

by | March 26, 2009 | 10 comments


  1. janelle

    I love the “witness” that is evolving from “Y” (I’ve officially given it a a name now).

    So sorry that you are still struggling with this; praying that you have the patience to let this heal the way it should – maybe a few more “no’s” are needed? Let me know how I can help.

    Love you.

  2. Daughter of the King

    I LOVE your attitude about this all. What a beautiful reminder He has given you. And it is always beautiful to watch a fellow child of God bring Him glory even when there is hurt.

    In His Gracious Love,

  3. sharilyn

    i admire your courage through all of this and your focus on God… very inspiring, jennifer. and i will continue to pray for healing… and a deep sense of His presence in the midst of it all…

  4. Darlene

    Y not Why.
    Oh, perfect!

    I just love what you say here:”Oh, glory to God. What better way to heal? Not just physically, Lord, but heal the rest of me, too, Lord. Let me heal from the Inside Out.”

    He is the GREAT Physician, healing all things that the world cannot even begin to touch. The inside out. yes.

  5. Billy Coffey

    I, too, am sorry that you’re still struggling with this. But in a way I find a sort of education in it. Strange, isn’t it, that a hurt on someone I’ve never met and who lives a thousand miles away can affect me so?

  6. Alexandra {{Awareness Warrior}}

    Ms Jenifer,
    I want to tell you to “hang in there”. I know very well the life of doctor appointments, antibiotics, infections, E.R. trips, and tests. It’s crazy, and can be very overwhelming! I think it’s great the way you are handling things, and I hope it encourages others to have the same attitude as well.

  7. Lori

    Thank you for continuing to rely on Jesus through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your testimony gives each one of us hope.

    You are still in our prayers.

  8. valerie lynn

    A powerful testimony on how God indeed heals us from the inside out. Your wound my friend is still here for a reason. A reason in which will glorify God.

    Take care and I pray for the pain to cease in your leg.


  9. God's Not Finished With Us Yet...

    Oh wow, Jennifer, I just loved that so much! Your words and witness to how awesome God is and then adding to it to be healed from the inside out…..

    This really touched my heart because I was looking into it so much further from the photo and post you planted for us to read.

  10. Jennie

    Yes, from the inside out. He’s taking you through quite an object lesson. May you continue to see and hear Him through it all. Blessings.


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