They Prayed For Me
“Jennifer, we’d like to pray for you.”
They knew how the Spirit exhales when two or more gather. They knew how the Red Letters bleed Truth: We can ask for anything in His name. Anything.
They knew — perhaps even better than I — that the monster of fear lurking inside my heart needed to be shackled before it shackled me.
They knew I needed prayer.
***
Seven months ago, a river of blood flowed down my left leg as I sat in a snowy ditch, trapped in a van, saying the words over and over and over:
Help me, God. Help me, God. Help me, God. And He did help me. I survived, with only minor injuries and a Y-shaped scar on my left leg to remind me that I am His.But for a time, I dreaded driving, despite the holy whispers to press on.
“Fear not, for I am with you,” the Spirit spoke into my spirit. Still I tensed in fear. Shoulders curled, and my jaw clenched, while hands gripped a steering wheel and fear gripped a body.
I would see it all again: the oncoming car spinning into my lane. The crush of steel on steel. The glass, everywhere.
Then I’d remember the silence …
Then I’d remember the pain …
In the dark place of my heart, a monster was feeding on fear.
These three women — Vicki, Merilyce and Carla — knew all that, too. And they wanted to pray for me, if I’d let them.
Eyes closed, they placed hands on shoulders and knees. I bowed low, without words, as they spoke Truth into the dark places where a monster had been growing.
“Father God, we come before you today with our sister Jennifer …”
***
I hadn’t asked for the prayer that day. It seemed so selfish of me to ask,
in a world where children are starving,
and mothers are grieving,
and dads are losing jobs,
and …
My monster seemed so small in comparison.
But that’s not true, you know. Our problems aren’t too trivial to take to God. Our trials aren’t too small for willing intercessors, these friends who storm the Gates on our behalf.
No my problems weren’t too small at all; my pride was just too big.
It’s the other monster in the dark place of my heart — the one that says I don’t need God’s help, that I can handle it on my own. I’ll bend a knee for someone else, scratch another name in a prayer journal, pray for a friend over the phone. But I won’t ask someone to pray for me.
How foolish! How dangerous, this monster that feeds on my pride!
But on that day, three women could see through the pride to the place that needed Truth breathed in. They appealed to the Father — One who is big enough to create the universe but personal enough to care about the little things.
And it was on that day — when I didn’t even ask for it– that perfect love drove out the monster, so I could drive again.
***
Who are you, Lord, that you are mindful of us?
Who are you, that you hear us when we call on You,
even for the little things?
“I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,
your handmade sky-jewelry,
Moon and stars mounted in their settings.
Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,
Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?”
— from Psalm 8 (The Message)
Thank you, Lord, for looking my way.
No problem too little
for You
a God so big.
Amen.
Consider joining Ann each Wednesday. This week, we continue exploring our Pilgrimages into Prayer.
Photo: Drawing of Jesus, the One who taught us how to pray. Drawn by my sweet friend Erica, who prays like Jesus taught her. Thank you for this framed gift, which graces our house of prayer.
Jennifer, this left me breathless and smiling!
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing, and being open and raw!
God Bless You!
Traci
Beautiful!
"No my problems weren't too small at all; my pride was just too big."
I can handle it. Now let me fix you. When all the while I have a log in my eye…
thank you for such a beautiful expression of the love of our awesome God and the power of prayer
Sometimes my DIY attitude carries itself right on over into my spiritual life. Thank God for friends who share our burdens and lift us up in prayer!
Is it not great when God sends someone to you in a time of need, even if we don't know we're in need, but God knows.I've done this a lot, pray for someone else when I was the one that needed help. very few times have I prayed for myself when I should every day. In Philippians, 4:6-7, (Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus). May God bless you
So glad you overcame that fear…You are blessed to have those 3 amazing women who are not only friends but true sisters in Christ who were able to discern what needs to be prayed about.
But I'm glad that God is always there…listening…I still remember that "Y" scar…But He surely did turn it into good by having you remember His faithful love all the time.
Blessings.
For me too… this: "No my problems weren't too small at all; my pride was just too big."
He uses you to minister to me.
Can I whisper thanks?
Why indeed does God answer our tiniest whispered prayers? What a beautiful story, God's grace…His healing touch and love so grand. He loves you so, Jennifer!
Oh, Jennifer, this is so beautiful. Thank you. I too went through a series of car accidents…all on one icy weekend 20 years ago. It has taken me quite a while to give that fear to God. I am so proud of you. God is so good! And those friends are precious!
Love that drawing of Christ…lovely!
Hugs,
Susan
What an awesome post! Thank you for the reminder that God cares about every need, every concern, every aspect of our lives…big AND small.
I'm so glad you survived that accident!
Christian fellowship is about giving and taking and knowing when to do which. Thanks for being honest.
Jennifer, your story of conquering fear is very powerful … I also read your April post on this, when you found the pieces of your car, including the Toyota emblem.
Very moving.
It takes gratitude to a whole new level! ~All the best, Maria
Thank you for your encouragement, friends. You all feed my soul — here and in your corners of the Web.
Runner Mom — It was bad enough going through one accident, but several? My oh my. Praise God, you've overcome.
Maria — Yes, those moments in the ditch (when I found the Toyota emblem and other pieces in the grass) are related to this post. I'm positive that I was able to get to that place because of God's answer to prayer. My trip back to the accident site — to face my fears — happened shortly after my time with these women, though I never included it in the first post.
I keep those pieces of my car by my computer, an ever-present reminder that God's perfect love drives out fear.
Beautiful reminder that no problem is too small to take to God!! Very beautiful drawing… perfect to go with your words!
I am thanking God for those women who offered, and for you who were able to receive.
Jennifer, I just came back to invite you to join my blog. I'm hosting a game in a few weeks for all my followers, it will be fun!
Beautiful.
I remember your post about your accident. It was the first one I ever read here. You captivated me then with your writing and I have been coming back again and again ever since. You did it again here today. Thanks for shining the love of God through your life Jennifer!
Christy
I like it when you said "…problems weren't too small at all; my pride was just too big." That is so true. I was blessed by this post! Prayer really matters and our only defense to subtle snares. Keep the faith Jennifer, God bless you.
Jennifer – this is just beautiful and what a great message!
Praising Him for you!
We're so willing to talk to God about our "issues" large and small, but not willing to share them with the body of Christ…the very thing that would sustain us all times. Sharing with the body is one way we get to try and understand what Grace is all about.
That was a beautiful post that I had to read twice…So glad to find your blog.
Hope you will stop by and visit my new Christmas blog that I launched today. The button on my regular blog will take you right to it….
http://teresa-grammygirlfriend.blogspot.com/
God is so good to provide those who give us what we cannot ask. That is the blessing of the body at work. There are all sorts of gems here Jennifer – thank you for your post. I'm glad you've recovered.