How Mommy Guilt Feels
By Stacey Thacker

Mommy guilt can cause weariness a nap won’t fix. It weighs us down and wears us out. It turns perfectly normal moms into women who are convinced they could win the prize for Worst Mom of the Year.

I know. Recently I failed epically. I wrote something about my teenage daughter that broke her heart. To be fair, I thought I had her permission, but in her eyes it wasn’t a sure deal. I moved forward and she was crushed under the weight of my words.

We worked it out a few days later. She mentioned that maybe her response was a bit dramatic. I told her I was so very sorry. She moved on. But let me tell you what the guilt did in my own heart that week. I concluded I was the worst girl mom in the world. I should have thought this through. I can’t be trusted. She may never heal from the hurt I’ve caused her. I should quit writing all together.

Now, who was the one overreacting a little bit? Maybe, just maybe I know where she gets her flair for the dramatic. I think I might have thrown myself on my bed, texted a few mommy writer friends and eaten more than my share of M&M’s.

I don’t think I’m alone. I know lots of other moms feel the same way. They email me their stories, stop me at church, or post on Facebook about their own struggles, too. Maybe, you can relate? Here is what I’ve been learning and doing my best to apply:

Where grace lives and breathes, guilt leaves.

I’m trying to busy myself with giving grace more space in my life. My girls are certainly blessed when I do. The best way for grace to take up new territory in my life is through the soul freeing Word of God. I have a few verses I’m turning over right now in my heart. One of them is this one:

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20

Christ living in me says I don’t have to be a slave to mommy guilt. He reminds me I am loved, he is for me, and I can do all things through him. There is great grace in letting Christ do what he wants to do in and through my life and living out my true identity as his daughter. In fact I think the only way we are going to make it as moms is to know what God says about us and live out that identity every day.

This isn’t easy. But the effort to live free is less than the yoke of guilt. The good news is I’m making progress little by little. Mommy guilt is huge. But it is not bigger than the truth that Christ lives in me. When I choose to put faith in that instead of my own failures, mommy guilt is rendered powerless over me.

I’d call that grace breathing so I’m going to sit with it a while. Care to join me?

Parts of this post are adapted from

Hope for the Weary Mom: Let God Meet You in the Mess by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin. Now available wherever books are sold.

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